Most of us would stop working if we could. We always crave for it, but that’s the only thing we can do: dreaming. Working a 9-5 just looks inevitable. I, James Gillard, however am a master at defying the inevitable. I gaze ‘The Inescapable’ straight to the face and and name him dirty ones. I say, if you like to quit your job, STOP WORKING; I’ll even give you 5 reasons why you should.
1. If you stop working you’ll have more time to devote to reading good articles such as this one. That will make me a household name down at the Office of Unemployment and Welfare Services. My fame is a simple price in achieving your dreams. Think about this when you see me on TV.
2. There’s a great feeling in quitting your job. For about 10 minutes you’ll be on cloud nine, you’ll on the top of the world, you’ll be living the good life, you’ll be: -insert your own cliche here-. Then the worries start about the car note, the mortgage, the kid’s school clothes, groceries, and and how you’re going to pay the amount you owe to other companies. All this will bring depression up to the extent of attempting suicide, but at least you had 10 minutes of freedom.
3. TV shows during the day is some of the most breathtaking and fascinating television around. You’ll wonder how you ever survived without all those documentaries, quality soap operas, judge shows, talk shows, and judge shows where you get the sinking suspicion that the judge has been paid off. When you combine this with all the educational advertisements that air during the day that will ”Teach you to drive a tractor trailer in 4 days’, ‘Allow you to get a degree from home’, ‘Show you how to make $1,000 a day stuffing envelopes’, in such exciting fields as GED preparation and septic tank scrubber’ and you’ll not only wonder why you didn’t quit your job sooner, you’ll also vow to never work again.
4. In your formerly employed state you missed all those calls from colletors and billing agents. Now that you have resigned you’ll be able to sit at home in eager anticipation of these oh-so-important calls. Toss in a few telemarketers, calls from various associations begging for donations, and a few of those computers that call you and ask you to ‘Hold for an important message’ and you’ll have to sit back and relax answering these calls. It will be like having a full-time job all over again, without getting a salary.
5. Forcing yourself out of bed daily at 5:45 in the morning doesn’t help your body. Your doctor will be happy to know for caring enough about your body’s well-being to go as far as leaving your job. He won’t see you anymore, however, because you no longer have health insurance. You don’t have . Sitting all day in a damp clinic waiting room next to young teenagers diagnosed with Gonorrhea is yet another experience you would have missed out on if you keep working on your present job.
There you have it folks. Five raesons why you should go out and quit your job. Have a free feeling to say these to your employer when you handle your resignation. If she wants to know where you came across such valuable information say to her that friend with unselfish motives provided them to you, and all I asked in return was that you remember me next time you need your septic tank scrubbed…
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